but for a purpose.

We're not alone, never alone. Be assured and reassured. What we're going through must be in His great plans and for His glory, for greater things have yet to come. They must be and we musn't give up.

I'm still hanging on because of your encouragements and because He's sustaining me with His strength and touch, even though I don't know it. Maybe the same goes for you? We may not feel it, but we don't have to try for God to work within us and around us, because He is and always will be in our presence.

however, I do not currently understand why I hate myself so much to be putting myself thru' whatever I am. It's so wrong. All I need is to trust and trust.

So its true they say.
Generation gap, period.
Gross awkwardness being around home.
He's got the right to be pissed and I don't deserve to dwell upon it.
Why am I fretting over my relationship with a father I'm not respecting?
I'm such a terrible daughter, argh.

It definitely sucks to know you're always overcome by waves of negativity and that there's a tendency for your temperament to take over once you 'walk away'.
What brutality. Learning lessons the hard way, having to go thru' life threatening situations, and bearing severe consequences of my own actions. Facing the world, I know there're many things I can't hide. People may notice there's something wrong with you, they may be caring, and concerned about you, enough to approach you but all those don't matter if you aren't gonna take it to heart. Are you gonna reject their kindness and go on with your current ways of life which aren't the best for you, while putting on a front to appreciate their kind thoughts or are you gonna carefully think thru' what they say or do for you, truly recognising the full worth of what love these people are showering upon you? I prayerfully hope it's the latter.

Somehow I hang on, get by. My prayers are short, But God I offer up my heart and take all of me today I pray. because I trust that the Holy Spirit takes all these thoughts, emotions, and inarticulate frustrations to you.
'cause I may be dying inside, I just wanna let go and know that I'll be alright

True I'm torn, broken and empty it's true I'm torn between being pessimistic and optimistic. Excruciated by expectations yet I can't lose sight of hope and faith, can't allow others to see how vulnerable I may be. No one else understands these struggles. It's true when they say sometimes we bleed just to know we're alive but let me not go on that track. Lurking in this darkness, where has light gone? Tormented, frustrations arise but at times am calmed to know the peace of God has been with me since I've been found in him (and forever more). A voice that calls out, tells me to surrender. Giving up control, leaving behind personal agendas, I surrender to my hope, whom I have absolute faith in. Having had insincerity in giving glory to you God, I ask for your forgiveness and I thank you that I've been forgiven because Jesus you were forsaken. In the midst of weakness, God you are strong. Insecurities, inhibitions, burdens lifted; love, light and fear, super sized. I believe, I believe.


We all need a break from this world. Cruelty of life here on earth doesn't mean we don't deserve to relax, enjoy nature, appreciate God's wonderful works etc. Stop and reflect; taking time off, setting aside distractions, being constantly reminded of his love...

Helplessness floods, seeing how you're suffering
just wanna make you feel better whenever
Holding a strong front isn't easy, yet you do
Admiration you believe you don't deserve you've got
Now draw strength from whom gives you all that you need

I'm not studying chinese.
I'm lazy to do anything now!
I'll stone.
I'd like to pay tribute to FB, my companion for the week.
hahaha, happy back-to-school :)

(P.S. hahah, this post looks so kiddish.)


beneath the surface, behind those fronts,
beseeched to go home running
how tough the journey was, no mortal being understands.
putting in the effort, victory's in the limelight
He who reigns sovereign, forever praised,
even as I'm eternally found

I just wanna believe.

Guess what friendzzz (hahaha), it's down to the last 2 days of the very unproductive march hols!
Needless to say, I'm not prepared for school. If it is to console myself, I'm sure many others aren't too. At any rate, gotta settle down and get ready to go full force.

God's been good, as he always is. There may be times you don't understand why things are as such, why he allowed you to be in such circumstances but eventually, he'll reveal it to you in his timing. His timing's perfect, just as when you'll see his divine intervention at proper times. We just gotta have faith.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
Hebrews 11:1

My soul can't help but ache to know how many people in our world has been blinded from the Truth, the Truth that God reigns over science, that we would not be possible if not for someone Mighty. I don't understand why people can be certain they're already heading for hell after death and believe their lives on earth are just all there is to it. Haven't they thought of how amazing the world, the universe is that ordinary hands could not have formed what they see before their eyes?

We don't understand how the universe came about, we didn't see God creating it but we know he did, because we believe in what's not visible. Press in, press on.

BAND[AGE]2, Let's go retro! All glory and honour be to our Heavenly Father.
Enjoyable (albeit stressful) experience, forged friendships. Fun. :) More importantly, it's God's work.
Congrats Exit 9, Fire flies in Motion (especially!) and Finding Michelle!

For the sake of others who can play hard this week, may I declare the march holidays open.
Too tired to think of anything now. Long busy week ahead, with lots of back-to-school holiday routines, catching up on work to do, and putting into action plans of "starting afresh", "preparing for the road towards O's" and whatnot. But shall attempt to get (more-than-) sufficient rest, and of course, not burn out. Tell me it's alright to "relax man, (since) it's the holidays!"

It only bugs me that I've got that many responsibilities I haven't been accountable for and expectations of my own I haven't been living up to...so now I wonder why I'm wasting away the perfect weekend! I have half a mind to give up studying and being strong, but just half. Which equates to zero for me, anyway.

Most importantly, it's a time to clear the clutter up in my mind and down in my heart.
"God ruthlessly perfects those whom he royally elects"

/For the record, I left my bible outside the MEP rooms and God, I pray it hasn't gone missing! Hopefully I'll remember tomorrow morning. March camp's here, just waiting for the 3 hours of games and good food (HAHA). Of course, it'll only be politically correct for me to say I'm looking forward to the meaningful level trainings, prefects forum and committee evaluations yea. A pity Clare won't be there.

Stimuli: fear, anxiety, stress
Symptoms:
Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better. Must do better.
Stigma: mental disorder?

Nah...just kidding. But that was cool alliteration. Kinda miss lit.

Final year in MG (now everyone start to sob, ha), final x-country run. West Coast Park rocksss, brings back good memories of LTC0708 (and amidst all the busyness and stress...)! Super aguri honda - we were really super and had loads of fun last year. Hahaha, 3.3km today was great workout too. Thank God for the good weather and for his continued protection over everyone. :) Mr Lim runs incredibly fast, he should be a PE teacher instead. Tho' it'll be pretty weird for him to be one for a day and have Mr Khoo take over for physics...cheap thrills.

What's wrong with being who we are? What's wrong with displaying our unhappiness? What's wrong with being hurt and empty? What's wrong with crying? What's wrong with people who don't seem to understand? What's wrong with those who don't bother to ask what's wrong? Many things seemingly...

Gotta set (hopefully) achievable goals ie. SMART goals for myself, hmm:
1. March camp training to be fruitful/meaningful
2. Good logistics organisation for BAND[AGE]
3. Better focus, discipline and therefore grades
4. Good and quick grasping/understanding of concepts (consistency, daily revision)
5. Continue to serve.
6. Last but not least...my 7A1s. (no A1s for the languages...)

At the end of it all, I will glorify Him.
All heaven declares the glory of the risen Lord

He tides me over,
He longs for me to see who he truly is.

I have won, I'm the victor.
The devil tormented,
the angels sing.
Defeated I've been,
but now I live

He's healing, as
He calms the raging seas
Hope arise, every moment
Held in his hands

Second chance gained,
second chance lost
Third chance comes,
there's no giving up, no backing out

Failures accepted,
but I'm still all time low.
Times I ask why I'm such a letdown,
God's satisfaction overshadows,
disappointment fades

They say let go,
He says hold on
Hold on tight as
waves come rushing

Receptive to his words and not theirs,
nothing will bring me down now


it's time I clear the mess. It's hard when people tell you something you're aware of yet you just can't give yourself away. Ironically, people can tell. But it's decided and resolved. Praise and thank God.

We sang the desert song during chapel today. Hit me right at my weakest. My God is the God who provides, firm on His promise I'll stand; I know I'm filled to be emptied again, but what less than bringing him praise can I offer? God accepts everything you offer up to him. He lifts your struggles.

Never stop believing in yourself, never ever. :)



In the midst of all the unsettledness, I must sort my emotions out...
Can't get any more cavalier than this, mm. Terrible mood swings get the better of you and people are worried. You feel bad but you don't understand why you're experiencing this either. Your body not being able to recognise itself now that it's changed, in conflict with the mind and soul? Only God knows why. And I won't do this alone, 'cos I can only do it with His strength, amen. I think the waves of optimism and pessimism are highly evident, disturbs me.

God is strong, on my behalf...

Yes, there're times we feel we let God down, but God never lets us down does he? I guess it's important to realise we aren't perfect (even as we seek and direct ourselves perfection daily, we won't get there) and we all fall down.
When we fall down, we thank God - He picks us up (Hey, no matter what situation you're in, however insignificant you may think your problem is or undeserving you are, God doesn't ever leave you in the lurch). When we climb/stand back up, we thank God - we saturate in his abundant grace.

It's easy to say we're living for God and lifting his Name up by being living testimonies, but it's times harder to act as we speak. But whatever the case is, God is pleased with us who have done him proud - in loving, in giving, in helping, in caring, in working, in serving and in studying (for us students). And I'm certain of that.

Now won't you give credit and all glory to the Wise God who sits above the skies (well, literally?)?


(COMMON TESTS, AHHHH)