Maybe the title attracted you! I'm a stalka, hahaha. Kidding. Here's a must read:

1 My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.

2 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

3 How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

4 They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Selah

5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah

9 Lowborn men are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie;
if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.

10 Do not trust in extortion
or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.

11 One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,

12 and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Surely you will reward each person
according to what he has done.

(David prayed and reaffirmed his faith in this psalm) Prayer can release our tensions in times of emotional stress. Trusting God to be our rock, salvation and fortress, will change our entire outlook on life. No longer must we be held captive by resentment toward others when they hurt us (for example). No longer must we bear the burden of failure... When we're resting in God's strength, nothing can shake us, amen?

Exams, 14 days. (I need to do well...hmm, DSA?)

Nobody is not fearful. (I got this double negative right, right? paranoia setting in!)

Dad pointed out something that we often forget in the midst of busyness, stress and whatnot: Even when we're not ready, the One above is. It's very often that I find myself relying on my own strength, forgetting that it's only when I recognise my weaknesses that I'll be strong, for real - it isn't automatic I pray and hope in every circumstance and this is true to my current state. And I'm sure many identify with this too.

Yes, we want to be better than who we are now. Yes, we want to be better than others whom you're envious of. Yes, we want to be the best. But what's best? Do we ever become the best? Well, no because we're always seeking victory, wanting more than we've had. Having an unquenchable thirst for victory, I've realised I'm never quite contented with what I achieve. Nothing satisfies me, at least never fully.

What's stopping me? The frequently recurring inability of my soul to find rest. Not surrendering = no peace = dissatisfaction, discontentment = unhappiness = weariness and no drive = losing sight of purpose = can't be bothered to seek peace any longer. Vicious cycle... My cavalier attitude is bothering me, very very much.

But y'know I guess eventually, it's not what we feel now that matters, it's how we manage the feelings. I'm stressed beyond belief but perhaps, it's in His will that I'll start working well under pressure unlike in the past. And also in His plan for me to learn to be stubborn in the things I believe, stubborn in persevering 'til I attain my goals even tho' there are thousand reasons to give up - especially when we try so hard and still aren't 'good enough' for ourselves or others.

I've decided though, that I'll take heart in the very fact that the One above is ready, ready to bring me thru' every storm, and you should too.
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" isaiah 40:31. I'm always heartened by God's Word; only in verses do I find true comfort my soul longs for.

And thanks to my dearest God-sent friends for their unending support and encouragement. :)

"Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's." 2 Chronicles 20:15

my eyes feast on Your works,
my heart amazed everyday to the next

Discipline's it. Mine has long gone poof, ugh. I wonder what I'll really feel when I see D7s-F9s on my report card for physics, HCL and combined? For now, I've resolved to focus on improving/excelling the maths, chem, bio, geog and english and for now I say I won't feel too bad about failures for the rest. That's for now.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Cor 4:7 We don't know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future. And that's all there is to it.

Surrender's the heartbeat of peace.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

How many of us bear the marks of our independence—our wanting to lean on our own strength until, sometimes broken, defeated, and disappointed, we learn to depend on God's strength instead of our own? I for one have...but I've realised how foolish I was. Why depend on humans who are small in thoughts and ways, rather than looking to God, the Almighty? "It's very often people who are not particularly gifted, nor highly trained, nor learned in man's wisdom that God is able to do the most with. Because they are humble, emptied of self, weak in themselves, and depend on God for strength, He can work through them. He supplements such weakness with His strength, and they become truly strong." Mhm, it's true. We have hope in Him. "For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor 12:10

Now the suns shining bright
And it just wont set
'Cause your love is a light and it lights my step
My heart is amazed every day to the next
Your joy overtakes and i cant forget about it

Everything boils down to perceptions and attitudes. Happy or sad, positive or negative? It's our choice. Sometimes, perhaps thinking simple, doing simple and living simple's the best...

Deep in thought, seemingly. (Small HDB flat, a home, a family, TV watching, playing with toys, seeing smiles on the faces of visitors...These things are enough for her.) What we want is more than the world can offer, so why not find happiness by limiting our desires rather than attempting to satisfy them?

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." -Ecclesiastes 3:11

Just a few songs I identify with now or that have spoken to me. Praise God, Praise God, Praise God. Hallelujah! It's all over now. Having gone thru' - to me - an ordeal, I know it's true that God remains faithful, no matter what the circumstance is. Thank you (Clare, Michele, Claudia, Benavon, Vanessa, Neville, Ms Ng, Ms Wong... just to name a few) for your love, care & concern, prayers, encouragements...the list goes on. I wouldn't be triumphant if not for the unceasing prayers you've prayed. God hears and listens.

"When you're doing your best, you have no time to worry about failures."
(Robert Hillyer)

MercyMe - So Long Self
From the album Coming Up To Breathe

Well if I come across a little bit distant
It's just because I am
Things just seem to feel a little bit different
You understand

Believe it or not but life is not apparently
About me anyways
But I have met the One who really is worthy
So let me say

Chorus:
So long self
Well it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me farewell
Oh well, Goodbye, don't cry
So Long Self

Stop right there because I know what your thinking
But no we can't be friends
And even though I know your heart is breaking
This has to end

And come to think of it the blame for all of this
Simply falls on me
For wanting something more in life than all of this
Oh, can't you see

Farewell, Goodbye
Oh so long self

Mark Harris - Find Your Wings
From the album The Line Between The Two

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

Chorus:
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

Hillsong United - Fire Fall Down
United We Stand
You bought my life with the
Blood that You shed on the cross
When You died for the sins of men
And You let out a cry
Crucified now alive in me

These hands are Yours
Teach them to serve as You please
And I'll reach out desperate to see
All the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in You

I'll never be the same
No I'll never be the same

Cause I know that You're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy Name
Jesus Christ

You changed it all
You broke down the wall
When I spoke and confessed
In You I'm blessed
Now I walk in the light
In victorious sight of You

Your fire fall down
Fall down
On us we pray
As we seek

Show me Your heart
Show me Your way
Show me Your glory

lyrics courtesy of: klove.com, lyricsbox.com

Hope you've been blessed by these songs just as I have. School's getting really busy (stressful's the word, actually), but God's got everything under control. I had awful coping mechanisms but now even when I'm trying hard to cope, haha, I'll probably go for more...rest. ("find rest, o my soul, in God alone" psalm 62:5)
Having been thru' what I have, I'm confident that God never forsakes us, never. Never cease looking to Him in the midst of all sorts of struggles and never forget to praise God when you win a battle; when you lose a battle. It's alright to go thru' dark moments, it's alright to sin because the cross says done. It's alright to be weak, it's alright to be imperfect, it's alright to be vulnerable. I can assure that you being a Child of God, He is well pleased with you, even if you think you're undeserving. Eventually, let God be God. Nothing can go wrong at the very end because God has promised us safe landings (not calm passages).
"If God if for us, who else can be against us?" Romans 8:31b