this makes me feel better about what I'm doing right now:

gi says: (PM 03:23:32)
uhm. im eating like one slice of tiramisu cake. extremely sinful and probably giving myself God knows how much fat
gi says: (PM 03:23:38)
but okay. it doesnt matter.
gi says: (PM 03:23:39)
hahahaha
gi says: (PM 03:23:43)
/rant
--nicole. is away 1-12 dec. says: (PM 03:23:57)
hahahhaha cute rant :D
--nicole. is away 1-12 dec. says: (PM 03:24:42)
and heck with the tiramisu, youre giving yourself endorphins of pleasure!

-------------
even talking online can really cheer you up, make you feel less alone:
(on claudia's new polaroid cam, laundry and excitement)

;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:31:43)
the film comes in a pack of 10, so i can only take like 5? cos if i take with you we'd take twive
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:31:44)
*twice
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:31:52)
expensive but worth it:D
gi says: (PM 03:35:58)
ohhhh coolios
gi says: (PM 03:36:00)
k! :D:D
gi says: (PM 03:36:02)
YESSSSS FINALLY
gi says: (PM 03:36:04)
I CAN LIKE>
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:36:12)
hmm?
gi says: (PM 03:36:17)
collect photos (: 
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:36:22)
HAHA YEAH
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:36:27)
we can get someone to help us take.
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:36:31)
like can ask my maid.
gi says: (PM 03:36:33)
i hate it how i always type the extra '>' when i'm excited/oncaps
gi says: (PM 03:36:35)
: D
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:36:36)
then we'll make sure it's supre nice.
gi says: (PM 03:36:38)
she'll be back already?
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:36:38)
HAHA.
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:36:41)
yeah.
gi says: (PM 03:36:44)
gr8
gi says: (PM 03:36:46)
NO MORE LAUNDRY
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:36:47)
shes coming back tmr i think.
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:36:52)
HAHA YESSSS>
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:36:54)
HAPPPPYYYYY
gi says: (PM 03:36:57)
HAHAHHAA
SEE WHAT I TOLD YOU 
gi says: (PM 03:36:58)
ABOUT THE ">"
gi says: (PM 03:37:10)
(Y)
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:37:17)
HAHA
;CLAUDIA' ` Hooray for the madness, we are better by design says: (PM 03:37:19)
YEAH.

I know I'm being highly nonsensical by wasting my time blogging all day long, but I seriously am bored and had nothing to do yesterday. Dad's still not home...


I'm feeling extremely nostalgic right now. you want so much to go back to the past, feel like you belong to a school that made you you because of the culture and the people. you miss the teachers (who really go beyond limits to bless you); you miss the friends, the people who helped you grow, built you up, loved you, gave you hope, encouraged you; you miss having to focus and study and scold yourself for being 'too slow'. above all, I want to go back to when I seemed to have a faith that was child-like. There weren't any qualms to how much I believed God had a purpose for me, how much He loved me and how good a person I was, because I'm made righteous in Christ. somehow, things turned for the worse this year, and I was made to go under the knife's blade, to be sharpened, to deal with trouble (in which is found in the world, but He creates peace in trouble)...and simply put, a whirlpool of emotions, a state in which you really felt like you were dying and everything that made you you was being sucked out of you, you were turning into someone nobody could understand - not even yourself.
but as much as I miss these things, God is always in control. God will forever be God, and I'll let Him take the highest honour, have the greatest glory (and I'll never steal any) and be in the highest place.

today, I was led back to 'I offer my life'. it was for a period of time the song of my heart. I thank God we sang it during service today, cause I think this time round, I truly believe that my life has been made for His glory, and I know He'll use me as He wills. all glory and praise is His for whatever breakthroughs I've had, and like we always say, we don't go thru' good and bad circumstances for no reason, they only prepare us for the future, prepare us for more, prepare us for when we can help others who go thru' what we have. amen.

all that I am
all that I have
I lay them down
before You, O Lord
all my regrets
all my acclaims
the joy and the pain
I'm making them yours

things in the past
things yet unseen
wishes and dreams
that are yet to come true
all of my hopes
all of my plans
my heart and my hands
are lifted to You

Lord I offer my life to You
everything I've been through
use it for Your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
lifting my praise to You
as a pleasing sacrifice,
Lord I offer you my life

and I better mean what I sing, what I say, what I proclaim. :)

sigh, I want to watch glee! but I forgot about downloading episodes 1-3 that day...shucks. oh well, hopefully the entire season comes out in stores after they're done with the 20ish. I only watched 1/5 of the first but I really like it...the themes put across and whoah, the voices that blow you off. amazing.

on another note, sometimes when you don't face up to issues you know you need to settle as soon as possible, procrastination will have a place in you, and maybe, just maybe, you'll never find a solution. but that's not how it's meant to be. guess she's right, 'dig for it'.

it's a new week, man. I can't wait for tuesday night's rehearsal, friday service and ypm. I can't wait to meet claudo for new moon (I srsly don't fancy it at all, but ah, just for the thrill and sake of saying 'I've watched new moon! why haven't you?') on thursday and sleepover, play wii, go crazy and whatnot. I hate it that I'm craving for ice cream at 11pm at night, tell me there's something wrong with me. I shouldn't be fond of such fattening food!

I really miss talking to you...
there're some people you never hold anything back to care about, to ask about, to share about life and all with. cause you know they care too and always tell you what you need to hear whenever, and even ahead of when you need to heed the advice. they're amazing like that.

gi says: (PM 10:12:36)

so how have holidays been!

megan says: (PM 10:12:49)

LOL

megan says: (PM 10:12:52)

UNBELIEVABLE.

megan says: (PM 10:12:56)

UNBELIEVABLY BORING.

megan says: (PM 10:13:00)

HAHAHA

megan says: (PM 10:13:00)

you?

gi says: (PM 10:13:01)

(Y)

gi says: (PM 10:13:11)

you're not alone.

evidently we mostly feel the same.

I wanna go to eastern europe. I wanna go back to US with the same group of people (clare/maddy/grace/mill/fern/claudia/zeeie/abi/ms ng/ms ho etc). I wanna visit New Zealand (land of wonder...) I wanna go to Japan and Korea again. I wanna go to Switzerlandddd. I wanna go to Bangkok (to visit Mill and shop). I just wanna be out of town and immerse in the beauty of nature. vast blue skies, large green fields - y'know, the kind with the golfcourse kind of grass. beautiful lakes.

-------------

y'know, think I've been missing out on the key point of sharing the gospel this whole time. I really enjoyed today's sermon, short and sweet but put across a powerful message. to mission is to be a witness and vessel of God's love, and we must never forget to really love the people with the love of God that never ends. but to spread the gospel with love is the greatest challenge...cause it's always harder to act on such things than to speak of such things. for instance, we could invite a friend to a service, give him/her a devotional/tract and think it's sufficient - but we're wrong. because if we think our job stops there and that's all we do, then we aren't showing the love that God wants us to show. to really care and let the other party feel your sincerity and love is important, and that means to follow thru' with the person, making sure s/he forms a relationship with the Lord, and praying for him/her incessantly. we should love people even if they don't know us (e.g. mere acquaintances) and even if they aren't exactly love-worthy, because to bless them is exactly how we should walk in His will...we should love the people, even if they're troublemakers, difficult to deal with, resistant to christianity, because to 'speak the truth in love' shouldn't be done to a selected few, but to everyone that crosses our paths. if the person is a hard-to-crack nut, extremely blinded, the more we should be convicted to reach out to him/her 'cause that's how we'll become more and more like Jesus - but no, this isn't what I've been doing. I've been moaning when I see friends tearing up bible verses, insulting God, criticising others for reading the bible, I've been sad that so many people around me don't know the Lord, or have backslid...rather than pushing my way thru', being firm on my stand and sharing His love nonetheless despite their stubbornness. I've focussed so much on personal issues, issues of inferiority, loneliness, jealousy/envy and whatnot, forgetting the key purpose of being a Christian - working out for God, who's in the business of saving souls. I'm probably not the only one...but it's never too late to start, 'cause God knows it's difficult and painful. Jesus experienced it himself...I love God for his faithfulness and his purpose, his timing, his plans, his acts of placing people in my life to teach me such things, to understand Him more, to help me thru' trials, reminding me that Jesus calms every storm in my heart etc. every tomorrow'll be better.

don't we all yearn for sweet endings? I see I've found myself ahead of one...which I ought to be thankful for, I guess. I'll once and for all leave behind the past, look past all negativity and start the new year on a clean slate...we all should and can do it.

P.S. CLAUDIA ONG LETS PLAY GUITAR HERO. LETS JAM. LETS TALK ON THE PHONE NOW. I'M BORED.

back from penang! facebook for photos :) too lazy to say much, 'cept...awesum worship and fellowship.
God hears, God answers, God loves, God blesses us, more abundantly than we can ever imagine.
♥

I miss you all. I miss school. I miss the friends, the people I care for, the people I need to see to have hope, the people who give hope... but sometimes, distance doesn't matter. most times, in fact. love and care are matters of the heart, you feel it or you don't. and you feel it because of past experiences, no one can take it away from you except yourself. the only person who'll ever remember such feelings existed would be yourself, anyway.

HOLIDAY TIME. I CAN READ ALL I WANT NOW, SPEND THE WHOLE DAY AT BORDERS AND DRINK COFFEE SOMEWHERE. this kind of life is perfect, at least as perfect as it can get. haha kidding. probably'll try to master some instrument rather than being able to play all of them averagely, as the saying goes, 'it's worse being a jack of all trades but a master of none' - that'll most certainly brighten up this mundane life of mine. you don't have to hear from me how boring holidays can get right? how lonely you can get during the time periods you used to have friends and teachers with you (even walking by and smiling was enough to cheer you up) but not anymore? 4G WE NEED A CLASS PARTY, PLEASE

but thank God for the great weather today. seeing how hot it is, it'll probably rain later, but I will not forget that rain is necessary. it reminds us of His presence and power. sermon during camp was on The Lord's Prayer. when you've no words left to say, no idea what to say,

our Father in heaven
hallowed be Thy Name
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven
give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our debts
as we forgive our debtors
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil
for Thine is the kingdom,
and the power and the glory
forever, Amen

overall, I'm happy (this is worth taking note of ok), thank God. I'm so glad I went for bible camp. there shouldn't and needn't be any talk about regret. even if God decided to take me back to heaven today, I wouldn't mind. to die will really be to gain. I've received much more than I ever should deserve, but again, whether we're deserving or undeserving should never be an issue. God continues to give willingly.


things I ought and need to do:
1) meet up with teachers/classmates to play chitchat relive moments share laughter eat and grow fat (hahaha) and whatnot ♥
2) tiff grace diane pang fan jieyi claudia, we should meet
3) send emails (oops)
4) organise notes...
5) finish nineteen minutes, reread kite runner, read the shack, max lucado's many books, like a diamond in the sky, don't look back
6) EXERCISE
okay I can't really think of anything else now.
just need to sleep.



at the hospital(s), I often find my thoughts wandering in one direction. why is life so fragile? why are some people physically stronger than others? why do the elderly look so hopeless and helpless, so sickly? why are some unable to afford as good medical care as others? ye ye's now on tablets that cost almost $4 each, which is honestly crazy. thank God he can afford such medicine, but what about those who cannot but need them?

Another mile down the road
Another mile from our home
At times I feel quite alone
Cause you know, cause you know all there is to know
So hold my heart, as it’s breaking apart
And I’ll hold yours in mine

Oh oh oh oh, you’re never far away
Oh, oh, oh, oh, you’re never far away
Oh, oh, oh, oh, you’re never far away
From me

I close my eyes and try to see
See you right in front of me
As if you’re only in my dreams
But you are everywhere and in between
You’re the moonlight in the dark of my night
And you shine bright so I can see

You catch my tears as they fall
It’s like I never left at all
And all the world feels so small
Cause right now we are high above it all
So hold me close, don’t ever let me go
Tell me what I already know
never far away - rush of fools

think I just found my song.

no more h/cl (hopefully...), ss, history and physics for the rest of my life. how awesome. only bio and chem mcq to go. we've survived more or less 16 papers! it's crazy. brain's fried.

before all these end, before life's excitement comes to a halt, before things will change, before more trials and tribulations come along, I ♥ BIO, I ♥ SCHOOL, I ♥ you.

I need to know there's a bright future ahead of me, I need to know things will be better. I need to know I will only become smarter, not foolisher, not stupider. I need to know I can become a genius and not merely watch others rise up and be miserable about my lowly position. I need to remember that all things are possible, cause they are with Him.

Take a look at the mountains
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of Me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am

And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to Me

And I want you to know
That I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone

Shine for Me
Shine for Me
Shine on, shine on
Shine for Me

And I see you
And I made you
And I love you more than you can imagine
More than you can fathom
I love you more than the sun
And you shine for me
more - matthew west

cannot study anymore. shucks.