i have tried my best,
to be happy, type happy posts,
smile at school,
please my dad,
and what do i get? unhappiness.

why do things end up like this?
must it always be this 'HONOURABLE ENDING'?
i really don't know.

i miss the old times.
even julia jie isn't talking to me anymore.

what can i say.
and indeed, 2006 is just gonna end like that?
so soon.
regret saying whatever i did to whoever.
whoever i've hurt this year, i apologise.
and do forgive me.

my life's for God.
and I will live for him.
..and this is the only thing i can be happy about. eternal life.

material needs.
do i need them that much?
i'm a typical girl who sits in front of the computer, talks on msn, everything. slacking, whatever. it's wrong. and i don't know what's wrong with me. only God does.
there's a purpose to everything? yeah i'm sure. that's what it says in the bible.

and really, i wished i wasn't who i am, didn't do what i've done.
not even to live.

i miss the past.
bring me back to the past.

in the future. you wake up in the morning.
pick up the straits times.
check out the headline
"a 13 year old girl who sits on the street on her own, rots to death, with no company."

and yes that'll be me. someone who's been acting all her life.
acting happy. making people happy.
giving in. taken advantage of. life's like this right? great, i'll live with this.

kthx.

that was just a post, where gillian suddenly goes bonkers, and forgets about reality. thankyou.
sorry for that.

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