Sorry if there're any grammatical errors etc, but you may correct me if there are, thanks
and this post is solely for my own reflection, so I hope none of you'll take offence whatsoever (though I don't think there's any reason to) ;]

Second post in an hour, but I have to.
I have too many things on my mind now, but God has the time, for everything you have to say, all the time :)

I feel guilty, very very guilty.
Each time I tell myself I have to put in more effort in reminding myself that in every step I take, in everything I do, all those has to be for God.
I know that God is with me, I know it but the faith is still not there. I know how important faith is, but it's difficult, when hypocrisy (as well as procrastination) comes into the picture.
#1 on the list of Christian ways to reduce stress is to pray. I do, but guess when I do? When I desperately need Him, when I get into trouble, when I lose something, when the weather's bad, sometimes when I'm really thankful - but that hardly happens, just a little more recently.
I guess faith doesn't just come like that, in the snap of a finger, but I have to just spend time alone with God and God alone, because only then can I feel His presence, and power. It's been years, I've been in a church kindergarten and now MG, chapel/Worship, it's all gotten into me, but I still haven't taken those into action. Every time I start trying to spend more time with God, the next day I probably have something more important and urgent to do, forgetting what is more important. Needless to say, God is. Adults always tell you to have quiet time, I've probably heard that thousands of times in my entire life, but only ten times, twenty times, thirty times have I done what I know is the best for me, because God always wants us to have the best.
Day by day, as Dad tells me more about what he learns in his classes at church, what he feels about what God has done for us, bible study sessions just with him and Aunt Kaylee alone since he has gotten to know God just months ago, I begin to see why he's striving so hard to be holy, Godly, and just obedient to God.

It's definitely a struggle, a struggle I have to overcome. But I trust in God, I trust in God, I trust in God. And one day, I'll let the whole world know what God has done in my life.

It's very hard to express how you feel, which is why we humans have feelings right? I mean if you could just write down however you felt, it wouldn't be personal and heartfelt anymore - even a diary doesn't work, ha. I doubt this' just happening to me, but I feel the impact greatly now, really.

Just a few weeks (was it about 2?) ago, I was just feeling very dissatisfied, discontent of the results I got. Come to think of it, I shouldn't have been that way, instead try harder the next time (how hypocrisy comes into play now - I've been telling others the same) and more importantly, thank God for the results He gave. He saw me through the nights I stayed up to complete work, through the nights I was up studying, trying to absorb whatever I could, just so I can bring Glory to Him - but was I contented with what I got? Nope, I dwelled upon my poor results, how I really could have done better, but there's no use looking at the past. In fact, we should just be thankful for everyday we live - until we go to the better place that's waiting for us. We never know what's gonna happen the next minute, but thank God I'm here typing this for myself to reflect upon the whole school year.
I guess even as I don't look back into the year, I shouldn't start worrying about 'oh, what am I going to do next year? everytime a new school year starts, my results just go all the way back below average again (yes, it happened in term 1, and started improving - thank God once again)' or 'Sec 3's going to zoom past really quickly so shouldn't I be studying now, and not getting myself involved in too many activities?', because as many say, we shouldn't borrow from the future. If we worry about what may happen tomorrow, but it doesn't, we've just worried in vain and even if it does happen, we have to worry twice, so it's not worth it, right?
(All the 'we's I've been using, I'm referring to myself yeah. :))

Yep.
I trust God will bring me through this period of time where I'm very uncertain about how life's gonna be, and how I can become a better child of God, just as He has brought me through many obstacles - even if I forgot it was Him who was beside me all the time.

For now, I'm just abit down, but I'll be all right soon.

Trust me, God's love is very powerful.



Because, You're faithful to the end
I'll sing of the grace that I found in You
And all that You've done
Through the power of the cross for me

I'll sing of the mercy I found in You
And all that You are
And the fullness of Your love for me

All that I have has come from Your hand
And all I ever know is Jesus
You are faithful to the end

I'll tell of the wonders I found in You
And the love that You've shown
It's higher than the heavens burns in me

All that I have has come from Your hand
And all I ever know is Jesus
You are faithful

What in this world could take me from Your love?
All I ever know is Jesus
You are faithful
All I ever know is Jesus
You are faithful to the end