"Learning is activity in itself. All agree? Then why do we resist learning and change? For many of us, the source of change seems to be external and not internal and yet, the key to the changes that are happening is within everyone's grasp. But we don't seem to grasp it at all. It is a matter of recognising that our own perceptions of what life 'should be' are not fixed, are not carved in granite but are rather like movies playing in our minds and projecting out into our lives. Imagine, everyday of our lives is a played movie! Gues wat? Every time changes take place in our lives, we feel powerless and feel we need to look back to the 'original' self. The truth is that we can choose to rewrite our inner 'movie' scripts and change our perceptions with a very different interpretation of our reality so that our lives are more meaningful and whole." - someone v dear to me :)

So maybe I haven't been too willing to learn from my mistakes, and improve even when there was room for improvement. Where has humility gone to? If I've surrendered my life to God and prayed for his guidance, why should I not accept what's been given as guidance? Having a heart of thanks' great, but once it becomes pretense (mind not filled with thanks?), guilt falls into place. But that's why God gave us brains and ability to reason. There's always this ongoing battle between the heart and the mind and I'm gonna allow both to work in me - and 'out of me'. I'll strike the balance with wisdom, doing what's right at the right time and not doing what's wrong at the wrong time.

Apologies for the more emo posts of late, I guess this holiday has been very very restful and spending more time for myself (rather than for others and school or whatnot) meant much more reflection. Which sometimes makes me feel I have a failed as a person (even though that's too exaggerated a response and there's no direct link). But whatever it is, it's time to change. I must and will change. (I don't even know if psyching myself has worked out - for as long as I've been doing it, but I'm gonna have faith in what is unseen)

I also believe I've done something against my conscience tho' out of good will. Now should I allow myself to not be burdened by that and not worry because I have a God I trust in and rely on? Yes yes, of course. :)

Woah, blogs are really meant for rants. I think mine is tho' sometimes I get annoyed when it's all about 'I', ha.

"Temptations, trials, sufferings, disappointments, failures...we've all experienced them. Even as Christians n specifically bcoz we're Christians. We must endure pain, whether thru loss, broken relationship, disappointments, hurts etc. While no one is immune to hard times, believers r empowered thru the Holy Spirit to endure them. Psalm 46:10 says it beautifully n most assuringly.."Cease striving n know that I am God" indicating our best response to disappointments n helplessness is to trust in the Lord."

"When my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2
When troubles come, we can cry, "Lord, hear me! Lord, lead me." Our storms can become a time of victory as we let Him lift us up to the Rock that is above all storms, our Rock of Safety, Jesus Christ.