22 days to O's.
2 more weeks of mg,
only 2. imagine,
not (physically) being part of
something that made you.
does that even make sense?
10 years. and in a blink of the eye,
no more. 10 and that's it.
it's scary. am no longer gonna be there.
i'm going to wake up in the mornings,
finding myself dissociated. where am i, really?

as hard as it is for those who live near volcanoes
(k too much geog, evidently, hopefully) to uproot,
it is for me, to leave a school where a decade was spent.
for how few decades we exist,
and in these few that we do, i've spent one
a complete one, in a school,
where studying i've never enjoyed,
where grades never failed to anger me,
where perceptions of my stupidity never failed to bring guilt,
where consistency was never my cup of tea,
where procrastination took the wheel,
where love brought me thru',
where God grew me,
where life was revealed.
perhaps I've never been as excited
about going to school as I am now before,
but nonetheless, the thought of change...
throws me off. throws every part of me off.
but change is inevitable.

surges in excitement,
they don't last forever
the thrill will grow faint,
eventually i'll leave my soul behind,
my body will lose itself.

i'm going to have to start over,
form a brand new wall around me,
work life out all over again.
in an unfamiliar environment,
make a choice.

left with me, only memories.
but i'll never feel the same way again,
experiences don't come twice.
everything will change,
nothing'll feel the same.

inexplicable feelings,
of joy, of belonging, of familiarity.
yet in no time, these will be taken away.
all you're left with is but yourself
in entirety, at least outwardly.
or maybe, only outwardly?





then, in His timing,
all things will be made right.
until then, the sentiment of loss
will remain with me.
i will cry. i will miss it all.
education, yellow brick road.
having gone down a long stretch of it,
i decided walking is far more satisfying
than riding on roller coasters.
the former may make things slow
(of which i usually hate)
the latter's too speedy.
there're too many sudden jerks,
up and down, too many surprises.
the velocity's too high,
the future's coming too quickly.
i will walk, i will run when need be.
i will work hard. i will succeed.
there'll be no shortcuts.
i will triumph, in this world for God,
for people, for you.