I WANT TO ESCAPE FROM LIFE. I WANT TO BE SURROUNDED BY GREENERY IN SPRING AND SUMMER, THE SKY SO (LIGHT) BLUE WITH CLOUDS THAT CAN MESMERISE ME. LAKES THAT ARE SO CLEAR, SO BLUE, SNOW THAT IS PURE WHITE IN WINTER. europe, friends. care to join me?
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I choose (ya, choices!) to not study right now and blog, because...I just want to have something to remember. (almost) purely a rambling that will record what silly thoughts go thru' my mind:
inertia inertia inertia. I am only thirteen, just entering MGS secondary, relieved I'm back at a familiar environment (here, I have no idea what predisposed judgements can do), and pretty amused, yet at the same time, amazed at how secondary classes' 'labels' go by the word, "M E T H O D I S (T) G". I am looking forward to knowing what class I'm in..and wow, little did I know I would end up having a boring list of letters to share with people who ask which classes I've been in. all four letters, 'G'. whoopee, it's orientation. we play double whacko, what a classic. also, I'm apprehensive, sorta excited to see who my new classmates from other primary schools will be, how we'll get along, whether it'll be hard for me to fit in (yea, we all want to be accepted) and whatnot. I go thru' sec one feeling like I don't belong because I never was that smart to begin with, and shouldn't have been placed in some in-house scholastic programme along with others I know are extremely intellectual up there. a year goes by...and come sec two, class dynamics' problems surface, seemingly severe, to the extent we were assumed as a class being 'emotionally-unsound'. time to visit vietnam with 2T, which means getting to know several 'hi-bye' friends better and getting a feel of a school trip (preparation for ROCs the following year). I fail at least one subject per term (tragedy - it is only lower secondary work; what foreshadowing of how more badly I'll do the next year?) but still I'm able to thankfully keep my head above the water and drag my feet through the year. then comes sec 3, sec 4. I meet the best people. I hear the best words of advice. I learn the most about life and living. I become more thankful than I've ever had. I go through the toughest struggles. I become "obsessed with God" (to quote my mom, sigh). the best memories are created (ltc, water dispenser in class, bubbles in informal class photo, racist comments, cc0809, mgpb07-09, study buddies, US trippers, guidey gang, just-chill-out-at-grass-patch friends, growing in the Lord together, I LOVE BIO...). then we've got the baccalaureate service.

that was today. last chapel service. every word spoken, every hymn sung, every prayer prayed, every sniff heard, every song of praise we offered, every applause that echoed in the chapel, every scene frozen before my eyes - scenes of true happiness, coupled with tinges of white spots in sight...hit me right in the weakest spot. tears flowed uncontrollably, and I realised how much people and the school means to me. how faithful He's been, He is and always will be. I'm just extremely extremely blessed and thankful. very thankful.

whoah, so much for inertia. here I am, approximately nine days to the o levels, and I say, we may seem to be trudging through blinding snow - or maybe stones that refuse to stay away - and everything ahead of us is a blur, it's just foggy, don't you think? but the road ahead is definitely even, laid with concrete and tar, with little bumps (like those in singapore, pro-propaganda, har) because God is in control. and when we trust in the Lord WITH ALL OUR HEART, ALL OUR MIND, ALL OUR SOUL AND STRENGTH, and lean not on our own understanding but acknowledge Him, our paths will be made straight. each day, saturate in the grace He's freely given.

what I'm leaving behind is merely the physical presence of MGS, both primary and secondary - principals, teachers, juniors, seniors, peers, whoever in person; the memories will linger day in and day out, because such imprints on my heart are indelible. some people I hold so dear, so dear, I wish I'd never have to leave. but we all grow. to quote Clare, one of my bestest, most kind, compassionate, caring, genius, true friends, "for now, let's not lose hope."


and today, I entered school with great expectancy, to see the smiles on faces, hear laughter that have rung in my ear oh-so-often, to feel the inexplicable joy that is stemmed from the good and bad things I've been thru' in the course of the ten years, more so the great friends and teachers, successes and failures. today, I left school with great pride. I left knowing it's only the beginning. I left being grateful. I left tearing, letting every sob of every girl in every corner resound in my head. I left loving, loving God, loving friends, loving teachers, loving the school, loving the people. I left recalling the countless times we've heard these phrases: "Godly women of excellence with a heart of love", "to master, to grow, to serve". ♥
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okay something cute that makes me happy and motivated to do work, cartoon!
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." (proverbs 19:21)