I refuse to think about or accept what's sinking in...the very fact that many of us are heading our separate ways. it's for real now, when we say goodbye. it's obviously not gonna be the same in jc as it was in MGS. ten years and finally, I'm stepping out into the real world (anywhere's more sheltered than mg). I'm no longer going to see people like claudo, gerou and sharanya, few of whom I love very very much and share great memories with, (almost, on some occasions) 5 days a week and have their ears at my disposal. we aren't going to lose touch, that's for sure, but of course, the time we get to spend together will be nothing like what we have been allowed to. and I don't like feeling this sad...to miss them and the silly or productive things we do together. I'm going to miss the juniors, juniors who never fail to make me smile, encourage me or just show me who they really are - ie. teaching me how I've been missing the point of being a 'godly woman of excellence' and 'role model' all this while, when I wasn't able to be true to myself or others, be honest about how I feel. I'll miss the side-shoulder hugs, trademark of affection of girls in most girls' schools - but let's just talk about mgs here. many of you probably identify with me too. certainly, it's human to be emotionally attached to people, things, places, but the sense of loss will take awhile to melt away.

whatever it is, I will remain thankful I have the ability to remember and feel the way I do. let's continue to show love and be love! that'll make our legacies (great ones we've left behind, wherever) worth keeping alive.
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on another note, I spent quality time with grandma today. and it really feels good. just thank God I decided to set aside time for just the two of us. without any other distractions, without any other reservations. just catch up with her and really talk, something we haven't been able to do for a long time because I was always hanging out with friends or cooping myself up in the room using the internet (ugh!). seeing how happy she was...just makes me so utterly contented to have such loving grandparents (who're willing to buy me anything I want, or do anything, serve me in whatever way they can just to make me happy) and at the same time regretfully guilty for being rude to her sometimes or snapping at her just because I can't tolerate her nagging and idiosyncracies. glad 21 january 2010 was spent fruitfully; grateful that before school starts, I set things straight with the grans - they just need to know that soon they'll see much less of me and they're gonna have to cope with it...
but really, today was awesome! think my very hip/modern nai nai & I just brought the entire shopping mall home - or so says ye ye and dad. hahahaha so funny. ;)