I DON'T KNOW WHY I CANNOT FIND THAT JOY IN THE LORD ANYMORE. NOT RIGHT NOW. AND IT SUCKS BEING UNHAPPY, HAVING DARK CLOUDS ALL AROUND ME. ROAR. >:( I NEED TO BE STRONG AND JOYFUL IN HIM. I NEED TO DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE AND NOT BE IRRESPONSIBLE. I NEED TO STUDY HARD. I NEED TO BE A GOOD AMBASSADOR OF CHRIST. I NEED TO BE A BETTER DAUGHTER.

there're so many things i regret now. why God would you ever let things happen to your children? too many circumstances can push me to want to give up. but not to persevere would be letting You and myself down. if i set out to reach out to them, i must fulfill that purpose, i'll continue to be a good friend and love them for who they are, even if they've so many weaknesses. although i am utterly upset at what has happened (be it intentionally or without that), i will look past it and pretend i never got to know.

GOD IS SOVEREIGN STILL. even though life is so confungling and there're so many things I cannot figure out now. it's all part of God's grander plan. it's all about Him and not about me.