I'm a happy girl. last paper in less than 8 hours, lecture notes sit on my desk - no, I will not compromise and put anything else above God alone. this week has been one exciting one, not because of the anticipation of the end of promos, but rather that He's taught me new things about faith, joy and living in the moment. while it's hard to feel guiltless knowing how unprepared I am for some exam, for any exam, this time round am thankful I managed to not sacrifice quality time with Him for sleep, or studying for papers that determine my course of education -- His strength & peace renewed in me daily as I surrender (or do my best to) sustains me through the day, really. while the defeatist side of me can surface times immediately after papers I feel were unsatisfactorily executed, I realised too that trust doesn't mean not having those bouts of frustrations (all the complaining yadayada like "crap i freaking messed up" :(); trust in His goodness and to commit all my hopes and expectations to Him is to not go down that downward spiral of self-destruction and let the sense of failure overwhelm me, instead eventually going back to Him again and again, just kneeling in His presence and admitting how weak I am, how much I hurt inside when I know I could've done something better (not just in this context) and letting Him do what He knows is best for me. been learning alot too about setting the altars of my life right. know I hardly ever feel the (un)familiar sense of euphoria that tends to mark the end of exams, which is admittingly bewildering, but...